A Meeting of The Eyes

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Sigh. My new physical therapist is kind of shy.

No eye contact.

Eye contact is important when you communicate with other humans… window to the soul and all that.

He also struggles to make small talk, which is at the opposite end of the spectrum from my last boyfriend… or physical therapist… you know what I meant. He would no more presume to touch my hip flexor than to break into a tap dance number.

“So, what do you do besides run?” he asked, as he gazed at the wall. I didn’t know if he meant in my free time or in addition to side-to-side squats with a band around my ankles.

I really didn’t.

“Do you mean… like… do I have a job?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Well, I’m a stay-at-home mom and I ummm…

No. I don’t have a job.”

“Oh. That’s good. That’s good.”

It was ridiculous. I smiled over at him and laughed, but I think I embarrassed him.

Jesus. He probably thought I was laughing at him, but I swear I wasn’t. I was laughing at his pleated pants, and that is not the same thing. I think he may have loosened up a bit by the end of the hour, but he’s very formal so I can’t be sure.

One hour together… twice a week… for months.

But don’t worry, I’ll corrupt him by next Thursday… he might even say a bad word, like “hell” or “damn”, but at the very least he will look me in the eyes.

Poor guy.

Broken Bones

So Kelly Ripa apparently showed up on the Regis and Kelly show today with crutches. She explained she had a femoral neck stress fracture and would have to hold off on exercising for 3 to 6 weeks. She also said her situation “looks much worse than it is” (read more here). This pissed me off.

I am just now in week 2 of physical therapy after experiencing the same injury, which I acquired as a result of running. I was out of the game for 4 months. FOUR MONTHS. I am now able to ride a stationary bike for 15 minutes and other random crap, like leg lifts. My orthopedic doctor told me I should be back to running by April 2011.

I wasn’t on crutches the entire 4 months – more like 8 weeks – I used to think people on crutches with no obvious injury were attention-seeking and pathetic. What a bitch I was (fine, I still am – just not about the crutches thing anymore). But that’s not the point.

The point is that a femoral neck stress fracture is much worse than it looks. It doesn’t look like anything to the casual observer… in fact there’s no cast, no boot, no nothin’. Just a breaking bone that takes a very long time to heal, due in part to the limited blood flow in that part of the body. This is the same bone that, if the stress fracture completes, people are referring to when they say “broken hip” or “that old lady broke her hip, you know what that means”. Yes. She’s circling the drain.

Actually, I didn’t really make a point, did I? Whatever. I just needed to let all 14 people who read my blog know that I’m no wimp and little miss 3-weeks-until-I-can-pound-the-pavement-again must be on crack.

Have a nice day.