Archive | January, 2011

Onion, The

14 Jan
The Onion

Image by _rockinfree via Flickr

The Onion is so good, I could eat it like an apple. Click on the hyper-link if you need a laugh.

You’re Fat

13 Jan

I am thankful to have been asked to be a guest-blogger on The Real Housewives of Oklahoma. My post is just fabulous. Just. Fabulous. Really.

Kiddin’. But it does cement your insecurities as to the media’s perception of your fat arse. And mine.

xo

Return It To The Freezer. Now.

The Sedaris Empire

9 Jan
Me Talk Pretty One Day

Image via Wikipedia

I love David Sedaris and Amy Sedaris. The wit. The way they don’t temper their comments. Amy is ridiculous. Brilliant. David’s writing makes me feel like I’m drunk on a combination of wit, awe, and hysteria. The poignancy he weaves into his stories will sneak up on you and might even make you cry. If you’re a crybaby. Which I am.

Anyone who doesn’t find them funny is lacking in the intelligence department.

Read Naked or Me Talk Pretty One Day if you’re up for your sides to split wide open.

Amy’s latest book, Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People, is genius, too.

Some links for your viewing pleasure:

2011: Not the Year of the Busy Mom

3 Jan

I am concerned about the data that must exist about “busy moms” and their interests – particularly as it relates to the design and marketing of wall calendars and agendas. You should be concerned too… Someone is spending time and money researching this demographic in order to offer products that will generate income. Sadly, the resulting products are infantile and cartoonish, which obviously means that is what the market supports.

The next time you are browsing the calendar section at Barnes and Noble, take note. Squint your eyes and look for the yellow cartoony area – now focus.

I told you.

In the bid to win her business, marketing professionals saturate the packaging with information about the calendar’s hundreds of happy little stickers (soccer practice, doctor appointments, celebrations) that the suicidal mom can use in her new calendar. They might be meant as a subliminal message…

“There, there little lady. No need to engage your brain. Just keep up the good car-pooling work and have supper on the table by 5:30. These pretty stickers will make it all seem fun! You’ll see. Now run along.”

I love a pretty calendar or agenda, I admit it… something to take the tedium out of the scheduling of my weekly meetings with my parole officer… but my ability to process fairly complex thoughts (Where am I? Where are my kids? What’s for dinner? Does little Billy play baseball? If so, when and where?) also means I haven’t found the right one yet. I’ve shopped around, too – the selection at Amazon really might be a practical joke.

I guess I will hold on to my $13.95, unless one of these beauties suddenly excites my hypothalamus:

You Got Me Where You Want Me

2 Jan

Again.

I want to get away. I need to get away… Back Against the Wall is one of Cage the Elephant’s best songs.

I’m inserting the video even though the jerks at YouTube [correction: Vevo is the jerk, not YouTube]  won’t let you actually watch it from here – you’ll have to follow their link. (They won’t share most videos with WordPress users, only Blogger users.)

This week they have the free single, Around My Head, on iTunes so check it out if you’re so inclined. Have a nice day.