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Name of the Game (Calling All Freaks)
January & February suck. Everyone’s waxing philosophic and contemplating the meaning of life. Feeling sluggish, fat, and crappy. Levity is in order (as I have said before). So, c’mon… Now, some background: First: Imagine me in a movie, walking down the street in slow motion – the wind is blowing my hair into my eyes […]
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Who Has A Mullet Now, Beotch?
It was 6:00a.m. and I pretended to be asleep when I heard my 4-year-old sprinting toward my room. “Oopsy daisy!” said L at the top of her lungs in order to wake me up. “Oopsy daisy” is so far off from what she should have been exclaiming… it’s weak and poorly planned, not to mention misleading. […]
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Do Not Eat
I have a list of things I long to do but don’t, based solely on the warning labels that accompany the objects of my temptation. Thankfully, someone out there (in legal) has repeatedly saved me from myself and my complete disregard for common sense. When I read these warnings I automatically fill in the blank […]
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One Pink Shoe
As I read this book to my daughter last night I had to refrain from commenting on every single page and/or laughing. Pull up a chair and we’ll read it together. First, look at Barbie’s sister Stacey. She’s wearing a purple half-shirt and tight high-water pink pants, yet it appears Barbie is consulting her for […]
you have no idea 
Public Service Announcement
15 FebImage via Wikipedia
Hi there.
This is going to be short and sweet. You might consider printing it out and sharing it with your disgusting co-workers or fellow airline passengers.
Under no circumstances is it appropriate to snort your snot LOUDLY and REPEATEDLY in a public place. You are startling people! If people clutch their chests in shock and cringe as they look over at you, yet you keep at it, expect fewer social invitations.
In addition, it is not acceptable to hack and cough in a manner that suggests you’re dying – I’m talking about the scary, loud, dramatic “look-at-me” cough that goes on for ten minutes – unless you are certain you are dying. Even then, it’s iffy.
At the very least, please escort yourself and your repulsive display of illness elsewhere.
KTHXBAI!
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