6 Dec

Husband and children go to the fair in September 2010. Husband texts wife funny fair-related observations. Husband texts wife not funny fair-related update:

Husband:                       “We won some freakin goldfish”
Wife/aka Me:                “Shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Husband:                        “I didn’t know that’s what we were playing for…”

Excuse me, what?? Those are HUGE stakes. Huge. Goldfish! Living things. What kind of prize is a goldfish… much less SEVEN goldfish? Why not give seven threadbare, bed-bug infested Scooby-Doo stuffed animals… or seven blows to the head?

Thank God he only accepted two of them (fish, that is) – one for each kid.

Today those fish are alive and alarmingly well… alarming because for the last week they seem to be swimming at a speed never recorded in the history of goldfish. Fast fast. I was watching them today and thinking that they must have gone completely insane, when it occurred to me that Goldie is chasing Pinky. We’re talking frantic chasing… almost as if… as if…

Son of a bitch. Well, then. I guess now I should be concerned about what will transpire when he finally catches her. If he knocks her up, I will be furious. How dare he? They aren’t even old enough to take care of themselves, let alone babies! Great.

If anyone knows of a family looking to adopt one or twenty-eight goldfish, please send them my way.

Pinky & Goldie - Will they or won't they?

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